Shame, it creeps up on us, sometimes out of nowhere and sometimes as a slow buildup but it can affect our sexuality in ways we don't expect and don't want. Sometimes tackling shame head on helps, sometimes not addressing it at all helps, but shame when tied in to the wonderful world of non-monogamy can be complex and disconcerting to your multiple partners. Charlie Glickman joins us to help sort out the why, the how, the what, and ways we can process and deal with shame in thoughtful and effective ways so we can get back to doing what most of us really want to do… fucking multiple partners.
We hit some major points along the discussion. Using the word should implies shame, it implies judgment, that I know better than you. When we react to shame it reinforces that shame. Keep heavy conversations and fights out of the bedroom. Also keep televisions and smartphones out of the bedroom. Go for a walk together instead, being side by side can disarm adversarial feelings that can creep up from being face to face, aka: Ginger's “side to side not nose to nose” philosophy.
Resources on exploring shame:
Sharon Ellison: Taking the War Out of our Words
Podcast: Download (Duration: 1:21:35 — 50.0MB)
We always recommend Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian's “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure” , you'll find the book plus other items in the “His Anal Pleasure Aperitif” gift set. Get a 20% discount when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout.
We also name check Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex through Ginger's adoration of a scene with Sasha Grey.
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Ginger, I agree SO HARD about that scene with Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde being so amazingly hot. It’s seriously one of my favorites. When you started talking about it in this episode (my partner and I were listening to it together)I said aloud, “Mmmm the pool table!” right when you said it was on a pool table, and my boyfriend looked at me like I was psychic… Or like I had watched all the porns, lol.
But yeah, that was easily the best part of that whole DVD and a scene I come back to often (giggity). I especially love when Sasha sets the rule of no breast slapping and Danny gets so worked up that he forgets and slaps her boob then immediately starts apologizing and there’s the moment when he has a, “Oh shit, oh shit” look on his face, then he takes his punishment like a champ. Hehe. LOVE IT!