Click to read Part 1 and Part 2.
Once you reach sadness and resignation, what do you do? You just keep plugging along. It’s not like you have much choice.
Another day, another dermatologist appointment. There were still bumps and the Dr. did some more freezing.
At this point, Desire was just a few weeks away and there did not seem to be much hope things would clear up by then. What should I do? The Dr. indicated that since I would be covered with a bathing suit, there would be no issue with resort activities. I put a slightly sharper point on the fact we were going to an adult clothing optional resort. She must have actually heard me at that point, because there was a look of recognition and an ‘Oh…’ came out. She indicated I would still need to keep things covered. She didn’t see any need for an appointment before Desire as I would need to be clear of any bumps in order to declare myself free of molluscum.
Days 85 – 92
The Desire trip. Touched base with Cooper at the start of the trip (need to stay covered, will I be out of place, should I just stay out of public, etc). He was great. Basically, ‘no worries- have fun, be yourself and be comfortable.’ I kept my underwear or some other clothing on when mingling. It felt a bit odd in the hot tub being the guy in undies, but so be it. Everyone was great and if they asked at all, I just said I had a rash and they were like ‘oh- ok, cool’. When on the beach beds, I always kept a towel between me and the sheets and insured the towel got laundered. I also explained the situation to any play partners and kept underwear on there. There were a few missed opportunities, but that is what the 2015 trip will be for (hopefully).
So we had dinner with a couple we have been getting to know (the same ones from back on day 15), but just have not been able to set aside play time with. In talking about trying to set up some time to get together and get naked, I let her know what I was dealing with. She said basically, ‘Yeah, that sucks, I just got over that. How are you treating it? What a pain, so when do you think we will be able to play?’ What a wonderful non-issue thing to say. I was now even more attracted to this woman. Much great flirting, casual contact (we were in public) and some great ‘kissing good night in the parking lot turned into 5 minutes of wonderful making out’.
Day 100 – 145
We finally were able to get a hold of our friends and play mates from the house party back on day 22. They had not shown any symptoms, but would stay on the lookout. They were completely understanding and glad we came forward and told them. Great positive feedback. We ran into them a few weeks later and they were just as warm and friendly as ever. There is a reason they are among our favorite lifestyle couples.
Things started looking better over time. There was one concern that the area seemed to be getting inflamed a bit. The dermatologist warned that the body can overreact sometimes and I would need to play with the application frequency. 2 spots seemed to be non-reactive to the cream. I will be seeing the dermatologist soon and will ask.
With things clearing up, Mrs. Duncan started getting concerned about becoming re-infected if/when we play again. We still do not know how I got it, so how do we defend. We had a lot of discussions around what amounted to irrational fears of any play leading to infection, so maybe we should just not ever play again. We decided that we would not be fear bound around this and continue to be who we are. We will not let fear turn us into shut ins. A lot of discussions around this.
Another dermatologist appointment. Some more freezing, but much more limited.
We discussed the non-reactive spots. She said sometimes that happens, but the freezing should take care of those.
She was a bit concerned about the secondary irritation, so she had me back off to using the cream every other day.
We made a follow up appointment for 3 weeks.
The (hopefully) last dermatologist appointment.
I got pre-screened by a new person. Everything was very matter of fact. Got changed into the lovely examination johnny with nothing on underneath but my socks. It is a cold morning and you have no idea what may be on the floor. When the Dr. came in to examine me, the new person was there as well. At this point, I had no modesty remaining (in a positive way) and just hiked up my johnny.
She examined my penis, pubic area, scrotum and thighs. The treated spots look like they are healing nicely and she does not see any new ones. She came prepared with the liquid nitrogen just in case. She was hopeful, but didn’t want to jinx it. Everything seems to be healing up nicely as well. The secondary irritation is also down. I can take the prescription cream down to 3 times a week and discontinue if nothing new comes up in the next two weeks. At that point we can declare victory. Let us hope.
Nothing new. Declaring victory, but holding off on the happy dance for a month, just in case. No play dates or anything. All precautions are shed and I am all over Mrs. Duncan.
‘Glory is ours, our young men have not died in vain’ rings through my head.
Happy dance. Nothing has recurred. Setting up some play time for next weekend.
So, after 30 weeks (6 months), we are finally done with this. With 20/20 hindsight, any future infection will take much less time to recognize, treat, and get rid of.
There were no great life lessons here. Adversity does show you who your real friends are. My doctors are not quite as open-minded as I would have hoped. Most of our friends, play mates and extended community are wonderful, accepting, understanding and helpful. The most benign STI can still be a real PIA. Because of the liquid nitrogen and secondary inflammation, my skin has some discolorations and I have a bit of a camo-cock. Honesty is the best policy and we would not have begged off any of the difficult conversations.
I would love to close with a Doogie Howser like deep thought here, but really don’t have one. STI’s suck and we need to deal with them, but deal we do.
I just finished reading all 3 parts of the series, and wanted to thank you for your candor and honesty in writing about what had to have been an extremely difficult time in your life. I was pleasantly surprised to hear how receptive and supportive everyone was- from your lovely wife, to your play partners, to Cooper (i would love the name of that toy he suggested), and even the other vacationers at Desire. I do wonder if they would have reacted the same if it were herpes or another STI, however.
I was a bit dismayed to hear about the treatment from your health care providers- one would think they would be a bit more sensitive to those with alternative lifestyles.
Again, thank you for the well written piece, and best wishes!
The toy is the Tantus Echo Handle. Very nice.
I think it is easier to be gracious when you weren’t adversely affected. However, the reactions from the past play partners were so gracious, I would think that it would have been similar regardless. At least, I choose to believe that about them. Hopefully, that conclusion will never be tested.
As for the folks at Desire, really, it was just never an issue. Everyone trusted that I was taking appropriate precautions for whatever it was that was ailing me.
I have since had regular appointments with both my primary care doctor and dermatologist. Both were fine. I think it may have been a bit of a surprise for them and it just took a bit to digest. I really am distressingly vanilla on the outside. Whatever… Nobody’s perfect and I will give them a pass this time.
Thank you so much for this series, I so appreciate your candor on this uncomfortable topic and congrats on your successful treatment! I wanted to leave a comment for anyone else who may be suffering in a similar situation to put it out there that Apple Cider Vinegar is a HIGHLY effective natural treatment for MC and arguably works much better and more quickly than freezing. With a combo of direct application + daily baths, you can cure MC within a couple of weeks. It has to be the organic, raw ACV which still contains the “mother” of vinegar. If interested I recommend giving it a Google for more specific instructions.