Six years ago, Cooper, Dylan and two other panelists blustered through far too long of an intro and a horrible title and made a thoroughly mediocre hour of podcasting. When we started this thing called the Swingset, we thought we'd do it for a little while and that would be it. Maybe we would inform, and maybe we would get laid. Little did we know that it would introduce us to wonderful people like Ginger, and Shira, and Miko, Cooper would meet his amazing partner Ophilia, We'd take amazing sexy vacations to mexico every November. To look back over the expanse of six years is rather mind boggling.
We took time at the end of the episode to answer a question from a listener.
“Not a question really, more of a comment. “Why aren't there more sites like this where orthodoxy isn't religiously enforced and divergent opinions can be voiced?” Too many relationship sites are really quite intolerant..” – Bill
Peoples' experiences matter.
We realized early on that we were swinging a little different than swingers were supposed to swing. It's about giving people a place that they can go to and feel like, hey there are other people that have the same experiences that I can go to and communicate with, that's what community is, and if you're not finding what you need or what from a community than go build your own, and we god-damn-diddly did that.
That doesn't mean that we're exclusive, it doesn't mean we're splitting a community, it just means that we're giving people that are doing the same things or find what we're doing attractive a place where they can talk about it and listen to other people doing it, and do it. That goes across the board across any kind of sexuality, any kind of sexual identity, any way of practicing this or any other lifestyle. It all has value.
The fact that we know it all exists is valuable to us.
Even knowing that other ways of practicing swinging or polyamory or kink are out there, that's valuable. You don't have to practice it, you don't have to agree with it, you don't even have to acknowledge it's valid, but just being exposed to it is good enough. Most people who are afraid of what they don't understand are afraid of it because they don't understand it, because they don't see people practicing it normally.
We as swingers can go out and interface with all sorts of people and not be scary dude until they realize were swingers, then when they realize we're swingers and realize they aren't scared it's because we're normal people. We're not trying to blow up their marrages, it's ok.
The best way we can be an ambassadors for swinging is by being that normal fucking people and by saying hey, this isn't scary, it's ok. If we're fighting amongst each other for the mantle for the most pure swinger or best fucking swinger or old fucking swinger or progressive swinger than it all doesn't matter because then we're just fighting with each other and everybody says they're all just fucking swingers.
We live in a very polarized world and it doesn't matter who got us there, it matters that we don't have to contribute to that polarization.
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You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir “My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory” at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!
- It Starts
- This Is Forever
- An Adventure
- No Way Back Up (Feat. Illuminor)
- Space Plus One
- Don't Want To Go