I mentioned that during Anne’s first full swap that I was on the verge of losing an erection. Well, that happened again and it was worse. Way worse. I know this is a common thing. I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen to me. I just turned thirty and am in the best shape of my life. Now I know how naive this line of thinking really is.
Anne and I were in our playmates living room making out with them. I had a raging hard on. Then we all headed upstairs to the bedroom. As the clothes came off and the action started, my erection started fading. Soon it was pretty much gone. I tried the old trick of just ignoring it and pleasing my partner. That wasn’t working. Well, we were having a good time, but my cock just wasn’t responding. Eventually I did get it hard, but it took a lot of working my own cock while playing with my partner. At this point we started fucking. We fucked for a while. However, just couldn’t come and eventually went soft again. Sigh. At this point Anne and her partner were finishing and I got her to come to help out. After much masturbation with the help of both women I did finally come, but even then I was still only kinda hard.
Why did this happen? I am mostly sure it was a head space thing. My head just wasn't in the right place. Afterwards on the ride home Anne and I talked about it. She said she wasn’t really in the zone either. This was because we hadn’t been that intimate lately. Anne has very bad menstrual cycles that usually consist of a week of PMS/symptoms and then a week of heavy bleeding/cramps. So, during this time our intimate time is very hit or miss. I am not opposed to doing anything during this time, but it is hard to catch her in the right mood. When she is in the mood we aren’t always able to act on it. Life gets in the way sometimes. This time things just hadn't lined up well. Likely part of my head space issue was the feeling that I hadn’t connected with Anne much lately. Some of it was probably just not being very horny that night. That happens to everyone I assume. Sometimes you just aren't in the mood. The wine prior to all the playing probably didn’t help either, but I honestly don’t think I had too much. I probably drank less than normal.
I still had fun and feel that my partner did as well, but good god that was a mind fuck. It was very distressing even when I knew it was a common thing. I am not even sure I have the words to describe how it made me feel. I guess I would describe it as having my manliness striped away, but I don’t really like how that sounds. That is not to say that being something other than a man is a lesser thing. I am trying to say that it felt like a very core part of my personal sexual being was just not there and that is a very disturbing feeling.
After the usual debriefing in the car on the way home, Anne decided to prove to me that I wasn’t broken because honestly I thought I might have been. She laid me down on the bed and went about pleasing me; insisting I do nothing, but enjoy myself. Even with this it took a while to get an erection. And once I had it I couldn’t come until I popped in a prostate massager. I attribute the trouble there to just having been mind fucked by my own dysfunctional cock leading to farther dysfunction. Moral of the story is if your brain isn’t in it then nothing else will be either. Sigh.